I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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