You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
