did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
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when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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