I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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