A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
