Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
