I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
