I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
