Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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