i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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