yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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