omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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