so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
