He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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