Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
