I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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