He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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