i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
