On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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