I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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