how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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