So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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