Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So squirting runs in the family.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
