he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
