My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
