Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
