i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
