I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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