apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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