do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
