all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
