Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
