Do you still have your period?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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