i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
