I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
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Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
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I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time