I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
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How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
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