like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
