Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
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I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.