i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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