No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
