I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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