you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
