That's intense
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
