Will you blow on my dice?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
