That's intense
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
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