I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
