Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
