And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
