fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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