Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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