if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize