He had one of those small greek statue penises
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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