I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
