Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
