I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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