I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize