spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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