Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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