how can u be prego again
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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