If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize