is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
