they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
