Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
These tits shall not be calmed
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
