the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
